Sucker Talk

The Problem With Religious Morality

The Bible has no place in policy making!

Unless you live under a rock or on a different planet, you are well aware that this week North Carolina voted to return to the middle ages and that our president finally came out in favor of LGBT rights. While one is definitely a step backward and the other is more or less a step forward, the fact that these things are happening or even need said makes me sick to my stomach.

I spend a lot of time mocking suckers on this here blog, but sometimes we need to get a bit serious. The truth of the matter is that marriage has been turned into some religious institution is America, instead of the civil matter in which it is. Another valid point is that refusing to allow LGBT marriage tramples our right to the pursuit of happiness.

I get the religious arguments, I really do, but I don't see how these matter when it comes to the law. First, a religious morality argument has no place in deciding these things, due to the separation of church and state. Churches can't make laws, and the state can't control the church (within reason). Therefore, any religious argument is moot in the case of legal rulings on gay marriage by our very constitution.

Second, regardless of your moral beliefs, I'm not sure how two men or women marrying each other impacts them. You are still free to marry only those of the opposite gender. No one is forcing you or your children to enter into a same sex marriage. No government agency will force a church or religious leader to perform marriages between same sex couples. It honestly won't affect you or your personal morals if you are morally opposed to LGBT relationships.

Finally, our courts and government leaders need to man up. Quit passing the vote off onto the people in an attempt to keep your hands clean in the matter. The truth is that laws against gay marriage fall under the constitution. Making it illegal goes against the very notion of American free will and the pursuuit of happiness. If the damn courts would just uphold the constitution everyone could marry whom they like (Once again, within reason. Not polygamy here, nor child brides). Those that don't like it will still be ignorant bigots, but they won't be under the false assumption that the law supports their close minded viewpoints.

The New American Inquisition

When did we become a Christian nation?

I just found out that I am an entitled, white upper-class liberal. I wish someone had told my working class bank account such things. The last thing I have ever been is entitled. Other than basic government infrastructure (roads, libraries, sidewalks) I have never received a hand-out, not even when we were raising a family of four on less than $20,000 a year. Heck, we don't even partake of the government funded schools.

The same person that informed me of such things also informed me that I had no place in the country and wasn't an American. To be clear, this person wasn't talking about me directly. They were an acquaintance sharing a bit more of their political beliefs with me that I wanted them to and completely unaware that I fell into the group they were bad-mouthing.

I am not Christian, which seemed to be their biggest complaint. America is a Christian country, he declared loudly. If you aren't Christian, you should get out, was his next thoughtful insight. Seems he thinks that if the government boots all us heathens out America will be great again. He jokingly added that if that wouldn't work, maybe we could just ship all the non-Christians to California. Ooh! You mean a special camp just for those that are not like you? Count me among the unamused.

His ramblings continued for a bit, with his next target being science. He assumed I was with him, since I homeschool. In his mind all homeschoolers are Christians that want to teach kids creationism. Well, he was off again. I homeschool for a myriad of reason, not least of which being the abysmal science education provided in most public schools today. I'm a proponent of more science, not less.

Yes, I set him straight and sent him off with his tail between his legs. The only intelligent rebuttal he could come up with was that he couldn't tell I was non-Christian. Really? You couldn't tell? Could it be because not all non-Christians are immoral, violent or stupid? Wow. Color me surprised.

Seriously though, it saddens me that a religion that professes to be founded on love and kindness has turned out the recent population of judgmental, cruel people that are just a hair's breath of wishing violence on those not like them. Even worse, I hear constantly about how Christians in America are the victims. If that were the case, then why are these most vocal of Christians figuratively feeding everyone else to the lions? (And yes, I am aware not all Christians behave so horribly. But you guys need to speak up, because those being the loudest right now truly do have no place in this country or anywhere else.)

The future of space exploration -- dead?

Are we welcoming a second dark age?

What's the space shuttle for?

Going to the International Space Station (ISS).

And what is the ISS for?

To give the shuttle something to do.

Yep, that joke pretty much sums up the last 30 years of the U.S. space program. Sad, isn't it? NASA originally intended the shuttle program to be so much more. It was to be a device to easily take us to the moon and eventually beyond into interplanetary space. Unfortunately, the continuation of Nixon-era budget cuts continued and the program was scaled back until we ended up with an expensive shuttle that could only achieve lower Earth orbit, which is nowhere near even the moon.

When asked, many Americans assume NASA receives 20 percent or more of its funding from federal tax dollars. This isn't even close. NASA is one of the least funded government programs, barely getting even half a cent on every tax dollar. The programs NASA runs are some of the first on the chopping block when budget cuts come up – not social security, military benefits or social programs like many erroneously believe. And definitely not pay or benefits to our elected officials.

So what has space done for you lately, you may ask? Well let's see. Thank the space program for your GPS, breast cancer fighting advanced imaging, home energy savings technology, the modern microchip, cordless vacuums and the myriad of both mundane and amazing items that got their start in a NASA lab, either on this planet, on the moon or floating above us. NASA even puts our a publication annually highlighting these discoveries.

The space program does more than give us stuff, though. Right now this country is descending into a neo-medieval period on the backs of so-called anti-science, religious fundamentalism. The space program in its heyday united the people under a common cause and a common dream intertwined with hope and excitement for the future. Although I don't want a return to Cold War days, I do think it's time we quit being such suckers and support our space program. We the people must unite, and the space program is the best way for us to do so.

Think it can't be done? The Hubble was almost left to die, but Bush junior allowed a final maintenance mission because we Jane and Joe Publics voiced our opinion on the subject loudly. The Kepler program, a favorite exo-planet finding mission, is going strong for a few more years because we declared we wanted it and found it important. So trite as it sounds, write your congressman or woman. Write the president. Show support for NASA and the space program. Demand that the Mars Constellation Mission is reactivated (it was shut down last year, regardless of what all those documentaries led you to believe).

We all dreamed of the final frontier at some point when we were children. Let's give our descendants the chance to dream, explore and innovate their future. Are you with me?

Ban Water!

The threat of DHMO.

My favorite hoax in the whole wide world surfaces every few months or years, and each time I read about it a get a little thrill. It is such the perfect hoax, and illustrates how often people fall for hype with no research at all. Seriously, if it sounds bad then we are against it. Sheeple mentality at it's finest.

Of course, I am talking about the classic dihydrogen monoxide, or DHMO, hoax. The hoax was first started by a newsgroup user, Craig Jackson, and began making the rounds at college campuses in 1989. Perhaps the best use of the hoax was by 14-year-old Nathan Zohner back in '97. He petitioned his classmates on whether this dangerous chemical should be banned, then used the results for a science project that analyzed the sheep mentality of the participants. Classic! Politicians in Canada, the US, New Zealand and Australia have all fallen prey. No wonder I love this hoax.

The reason the hoax works is two fold. First, it preys on our modern fears of evil companies poisoning our air, water and food with harmful chemical contaminants. Second, everything in the hoax about DHMO, from it's chemical name to the horrors it can cause, is completely true so therefor 100 percent believable.

For example, water is the main component in acid rain, it does erode the natural landscape, it is fatal if inhaled (drowning), it is part of the process in nuclear plants and it is a fire retardant. Reading through the list of things DHMO, a.k.a. Water, makes it into the most nefarious substance known to man. No wonder people keep falling under the wheels of this hoax.

Stupid Criminal Fails

I used to live in New Mexico, in a town renowned for its bank robberies. There seemed to be at least one every week. The idiots usually got caught, if not right away then within a short time. For one, they would keep robbing banks, sometimes the same ones, making their eventual capture a given.

We recently had a bank robbery just up the street from me. It was actually at a bank that I bank out, well, the organization I am a treasurer for banks there so I am there quite often. The guy got the money, got a few steps out the door, then the dye pack exploded in his hands coating him in red. He got away – this time – but he dropped the cash so all of it was for naught.

Today there was another robbery down the street from the first, suspected to be the same idiot. Yep, he almost gets caught so he keeps on robbing. I'm sure he'll be in custody in no time.

These morons rob banks because it's common knowledge that a bank will just hand you the money. At the same time, it should also be common knowledge that they stick a dye pack in the bag with the cash, rendering the money useless. Banks that forgo dye packs usually use marked bills, also rendering the cash useless. In other words, they wasted everybody's time, especially their own.

In the movies they make bank heists look like some big, detailed thing with lots of planning and slick and sexy criminal ringleaders heading the operation. But c'mon, watch the news. Most of these suckers are doped up and desperate people that couldn't plan their way out of a paper bag.

It's a Hoax, People!

Do your research please.

Not a day passes that some horrifying picture doesn't make its way onto my Facebook feed or into my email inbox. The picture is usually, but not always, related to the text that accompanies it. Without fail, the poor informed person passing it on is convinced that something horrible is happening to someone, somewhere, and that the only way to stop the madness is to clog my feed or inbox.

A quick search of Snopes almost always reveals that the message is a hoax. Sometimes, it's even a scam created to elicit pity and gain access to money or personal identification. Those suckers that fall for it are often otherwise intelligent people.

One of my favorites makes the rounds every year during the holiday shopping season. Supposedly, someone nonthreatening, like an elderly woman or child, approaches you by your car asking for a ride. They have a sob story that you can't help but help them. Of course, they don't lead you home or to a police station, but instead take you somewhere full of big evil men who will rape you and possibly kill you. The details depend on the story making the rounds that year.

Of course, none of this is true and a quick Snopes search reveals it has never happened to anyone, anywhere. Another popular scam is messages asking you to text a certain number to donate a dollar or some other amount to a heart wrenching cause. Of course, when you get your phone bill you will have a much larger charge. Why? Because it's a scam!

Why can't people take a moment to Google these chain hoaxes and scams before sending them to everyone they know? Please, please, please people, don't be a fool!

Neil deGrasse Tyson: 2012 WILL happen

Trust an astrophysicist to get it right!

It's no secret that I have a favorite astrophysicist (who doesn't?) and that his name is Neil deGrasse Tyson. You may remember him, he's the outspoken guy that informed the world that Pluto was no longer a planet a few years ago? Well, I'm here to tell you that he has jumped on the 2012 prophecy bandwagon and has declared that yes, 2012 will indeed happen. In fact, it already has.

Don't believe Neil or myself? Go take a look at your calendar. Yep, it's 2012, it happened. In Neil's words: “2012 will happen. And after that, 2013, 2014 and so on.” You have to love a smart alek astrophysicist!

This is old news actually, since Neil addressed these concerns at the 2010 World Science Festival. But I think we all need a reminder and a bit of sensible talk now that the big day is only 10 short months away. You know, before we all run out and sell our homes, quit our jobs, shave our heads and join a cult.

A big that 2012 doomsday predictors harp on is that there is an alignment of the sun on December 21, and that the Mayans knew this was a big world shattering deal so they ended their calendar then. Well, sadly this isn't a big deal. We have this alignment every year, in fact twice each year, on the solstice days. The winter solstice in 2012 is also on December 21, as Neil points out.

You may also hear about the “galactic alignment.” This is pseudoscience only loosely based on fact. Scientists use an equator to separate the Milky Way, primarily for observational purposes. According to doomsdayers, the sun will be in galactic alignment with this equator on 12/21/12. The simple fact is, we are in alignment now and we have been since 1998. It takes the sun 36 years to move through the galactic equator. Not that it matters, since the equator is a manmade measuring tool and not something that has any real bearing on anything.

So everyone saying their final goodbyes this year, have fun. You can hang out with your astrologists, but I'm going to stick with my main man the astrophysicist!

Girl's Lunch Taken Away – Not!

"It's funny yet sad that this story is still floating around on major news sites with no retractions or updates"

I first saw the story on an ABC affiliate news site a few days ago declaring that a school took away a 4-year-old's turkey sandwich and forced her to consume “more nutritious” chicken nuggets. As I cruised around for some more in depth reporting, I saw that Fox, HuffPo and several other well-known outlets had also picked up the story.

Each version seemed a bit more severe than the next. First, it was an inspector from the Department of Education in North Carolina that was visiting the school that did it, but by the last story it had inflated to a government official who's sole job was to inspect the lunches from home every single day to make sure they were healthy and take away those that weren't. Something seemed fishy.

Seems like all these fine, upstanding journalists – you know, the people we trust to research and report facts – had gotten it all wrong. The truth doesn't even qualify as a story. The girl was in a special program for at-risk children to ensure they received enough to eat. Her lunch wasn't taken from her, she was offered milk and extra food if she was still hungry. Her mom was afraid she would have to pay for the extras and got upset that the school for giving her daughter free food, not understanding the food was part of the program she had signed her daughter up for.

It's funny yet sad that this story is still floating around on major news sites with no retractions or updates reporting the facts. Hey guys, I have an idea! Instead of reporting exactly what everyone else is, how about you take some time to research the story first? Kudos to the Washington Post, one of the few that actually did.

Terrifying Health News for 2012

If the scary noises around the world and the Mayan prophecies didn’t scare you, maybe flesh-eating bacteria will.

Though I think both the scary worldwide noises were a hoax and that 2012 isn’t going to be the end of the world (though perhaps a global shift in consciousness would occur; who knows?), I’m still as susceptible to panic about the world ending as much as anyone else. I didn’t give a damn about Y2K, no; I actually just worked it like a normal night/day. But I worry a lot about a zombiepocalypse, which is probably why these stories have me biting my fingernails.

Flesh-Eating Disease is Spreading: Last year, you might have heard about the superbugs that have been plaguing the country in hospitals that are resistant to drug treatments (largely due to our own overuse of antibiotics in everything from our food to our hand soap). There was also a strange, life-threatening flesh-eating disease that developed. Since then, the disease has not been contained but instead it has spread, with both the public and people in the UK dying of the illness. How does it spread? By simple sneezing and hand-shaking. That’s a comforting thought.

Sugar is Deemed Deadly: We all know that reducing the sugar in our diets is a good thing for us to do, but did you know that many scientists are calling for the sweet treat to be labeled as a toxin? Research indicates that sugar may be as bad for us as alcohol, and that it, along with artificial sweeteners, should also be regulated as such. Can you imagine what kind of door this might open if such a thing were to pass? I’d personally be all for it, since it would jumpstart healthier food choices being produced and made readily available.

There is Another Twilight Movie to Be Released This Year. At least it’s the last one, but this event alone could cause the end of the world.

People Continue to Die in Order to Be Thin. Despite the deaths following so many diet treatments over the years, we don’t seem to be learning anything. Lapband surgery has been deemed so risky following several wrongful death lawsuits that firms in Orange County of all places have stopped supplying the device. In Orange County! That’s got to tell you that the thing is too dangerous for people to be using.

9 Eyes Exists. Just take a look at this bone-chilling collection of images from around the world if you don’t think we live in a scary place. We do live in a wonderful place, no doubt; but it’s also the stuff of nightmares.